ANOTHER CORONA FOR THE ROAD, PERHAPS? BUILD THE WALLS!

As I have watched the COVID-19 corona-virus pandemic unfold in the United States, it has been hard not to notice that the states who ignored the science and who said it was all just one giant conspiracy concocted by the left wing media and the Democrats, are the same states that voted for Terrible Trump — which is to say, essentially the map of the Confederacy with some Midwest wackos, the Dakotas, and the Mountain West thrown in for bad measure. It’s like the Deplorables have come home to roost with a vengeance.

When this was just a matter of Fox News bullshit and poorly educated, gun-toting, religious bigots, versus scientific facts and figures, then it all boiled down to an ongoing difference of opinions. It got surreal at times, for sure, but our respective views and alternate universes did not collide in such a way as to threaten our respective lives. But when some fool’s opinion can kill me because they ignore or don’t believe in a clearly proven health risk, then it’s time for some serious preventive medicine.

COVID-19 is just a drill for the next virus, and the next, and … that’s why I have finally come around on The Wall.  In fact, I think we need several of them.  

WALL # 1

I would start on the north end of the Herbert C. Bonner Bridge, just south of Duck, in the outer banks of North Carolina. (35 degrees north/75 degrees west)

Then I would run the Wall due west with a gradual bend to the north, to just south of Winston-Salem, North Carolina, ensuring that the Demon Deacons, Raleigh, Durham, and Greensboro are all on the north side of The Wall. North Carolina will be the only state where the current borders are not followed and respected.

The Wall would continue its gradual bend to the north from Winston-Salem to the Tennessee border just west of Boone, at the town of Sugar Grove, North Carolina. (36 degrees north/81 degrees west) From there it would wind its way up a natural valley in the Blue Ridge Mountains to the northeast corner of Tennessee, and then run along Tennessee’s southern border with Virginia. When the Wall meets Kentucky, it would follow Kentucky’s border north to the Ohio River and then west to the Mississippi River.

From the border where Kentucky and Illinois meet, at Cairo, Illinois (37 degrees north/89 degrees west), the Wall would follow the mighty Mississippi as it meanders north.

When the Mississippi reaches the northeast border of Iowa, at New Albin, Iowa (43 degrees north/91 degrees west), the Wall would then turn west until it hits the Missouri River, just west of the little town of Granite, Iowa (43 degrees north/96 degrees west), and southeast of the bustling metropolis of Sioux Falls, South Dakota (one of the numbskull states that defiantly refused to put any social distancing in place during the pandemic even though they had many confirmed cases of the virus and deaths).

From this point on, the Wall would just follow the eastern borders of South and North Dakota all the way to the Canadian border.

WALL #2

This Wall will be very straight forward. We just start at the Canadian border and follow the western borders of North Dakota, South Dakota, Nebraska, Kansas, Oklahoma, and Texas, all the way to Mexico. After that, the Wall will join Trump’s Border Wall with Mexico and run all the way to the Gulf of Mexico.

WALL #3

Starting at the Canadian border, we follow the western and southern border of Idaho, and Utah. The Wall would then follow the western and southern border of Wyoming, running along that state’s southern border to just west of Cheyenne, Wyoming (41 degrees north/104 degrees west), where it would tie back into Wall #2.

If it wasn’t for the fact that Colorado has their head screwed on straight, this would be a much simpler construction project. That said, Wall #3 will have the added benefit of combining the like-minded people on the south side of Wall #1 with the anti-government loonies who live in the Mountain West.

This new America — let’s just call it North America without Canada, who never wanted to be associated with us anyhow — will essentially be comprised of three countries: the Northeast and the Great Lakes (The Industrial North), the South, Midwest, and Mountain West (The Confederacy), and the West and Southwest (Vacationland).

Starting a year before completion of the three walls (or fences, signs, or agreed upon lines in the sand), we should allow anyone who wants to move to another state/country to do so without penalty, fee, or harassment. And you wouldn’t need a passport to travel across the borders. But there would be identity checkpoints so each side could make sure that visitors didn’t stay for more than ninety days (the normal allowable limit for staying in a foreign country) unless they had a Green Card to work. And we could still have free-flowing commerce — not sure about tariffs. And pro sports, like football and basketball, would not be affected in any way, much as the Canadian teams now easily compete against their American counterparts. So, what’s not to like?

And as an added benefit, since COVID-19 has laid waste to our economy and many people have lost their jobs and are out of work, this could be like the Civilian Conservation Corps (CCC) after the Great Depression in 1933, and we could put Americans back to work on a grand public works project for the betterment of all North Americans.

So, let’s make America Great Again! Whaddaya say?