ANOTHER CORONA FOR THE ROAD, PERHAPS? VIRUS? WHAT VIRUS?

On Saturday May 3rd, springtime finally came rolling in to Maryland and most of the northeastern United States, bringing temperatures in the seventies for the first time in a very long while. And everyone merrily popped out of their rabbit holes to bask in the warm sun. It was like a regional victory lap in honor of the end of winter and the defeat of COVID-19.

People celebrated by land, sea, and air.

The Chesapeake Bay was teeming with powerboats going back and forth in excited bursts of speed like water-strider spiders. Fishermen were working the Bay Bridge piles in large flotillas. Sailboats dotted the dark water like white flowers on the move. And all of this was happening when boating and fishing were expressly forbidden under Governor Hogan’s State of Emergency Order. Imagine that.

Over in our nation’s capital and up in Baltimore, the Blue Angels and the Thunderbirds were doing fifteen minute air shows in honor of the first responders and the medical staff that have put their lives on the line during the coronavirus outbreak. Thousands of people flocked to the Potomac and Patapsco rivers, lining the shorelines shoulder to shoulder, watching the jet fighters soar loudly overhead. This seemed a bit odd in light of the fact that gatherings of ten or more people were still illegal in Maryland, Virginia, and the District of Colombia.

Bike trails like the B&A Trail in Anne Arundel County were so packed with bikes, rollerbladers, walkers and baby strollers that it looked like some sort of recreational mass exodus. Social distancing was impossible.

Central Park in New York City, where a third of the deaths in the country have taken place, resembled a 4th of July concert with families picnicking and lounging on blankets covering almost every inch of the grassy lawns.

Many states — the South, Upper Midwest, and Intermountain West — had relaxed restrictions and started opening on May 1st, because, well, because May Day has a nice ring to it, right? Georgia and Texas completely re-opened, washing their hands of the whole nasty virus business. Florida also essentially re-opened but their Governor, a Trump butt-wipe, ordered the Florida Health Department to simply stop releasing the medical examiners’ daily death toll numbers, which, you have to admit, is a very unique approach to handling the pandemic. Of course, this is the same state that designated spring break and professional wrestling as essential. *This illustrates the need for the three Walls I suggested in a previous blog that we needed to build.

The first Saturday in May also brought out the false patriots who staged massive demonstrations in ten state capitals where hugging, waving guns, and spitting in faces was considered acceptable behavior.

All in all, it was just great to see that we finally vanquished the deadly novel coronavirus and can now get on with our twisted lives. DING! DONG! THE WITCH IS DEAD!

Oh, wait a minute. This just in:

• According to the Center for Disease Control, the U.S. saw 2,909 people die of Covid-19 in 24 hours on Friday May 2nd, making it the highest daily death toll in the U.S. yet recorded during the pandemic.
• The National Weather Service is forecasting that the warm spring-like weather that settled over the Northeast during the weekend was only temporary and unseasonably cold weather with temperatures in the fifties will return for the second week of May and beyond.