HAVE A NICE DAY!

Humans have a limited capacity to be nice.  Because it’s hard work. And for most folks, it doesn’t come easy and takes too much effort.

I knew from an early age I didn’t have the “how’s it going?” gene. And while I have worked a lot of different jobs in my life, from long-haul truck driver to construction, I have never worked in customer service other than a brief stint at a golf course on the Eastern Shore upon my return from Grand Canyon. I hated it. I hated having to pretend that I cared about what the golfers wanted or felt. It was like torture, smiling all the time and using that baby talk voice — “Did you PLAY well?”

I would come home at the end of the day, after sucking up to people for way too long, and I had no more capacity to be agreeable. My girlfriend was like, “Why can’t you talk to me? Why can’t we share our day? Aren’t you interested in how I feel? What’s wrong with you?”

The truth was, I had nothing left for anyone else but me. I just wanted to be left alone. And it used to drive me crazy because I wanted to care, but I was just too tired.

I have an old friend named Jamie who is a golf pro. He is a champion ass kisser — the best I have ever seen. He can make you feel like you are incredibly special, and he does it in a way that isn’t smarmy or contrived.

I have another old acquaintance who owned a piledriving company and spent his life working his ass off. Some of the toughest work on the planet. And John has always believed that his money is just a little bit greener because he worked so hard to get it.

One night Jamie was late for a holiday party and when he arrived he apologized and said, “It was crazy busy at the golf course today because it was so warm, and I had to stay and close the place.”

To which John sarcastically replied, “Oh yeah, working at the golf course is pretty tough.”

Jamie spun around and growled, “Let me you tell you something. Kissing ass is every bit as hard as lifting rock!”

Truer words were never spoken.

And this can be very apropos when you are hanging with the relatives and friends this holiday season.